


Blue Foxes

by the_never_was



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, Gen, Long One-Shot, Mutual Stubbornness, Other, Romance/Angst, mutual respect, semi-fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:46:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_never_was/pseuds/the_never_was
Summary: Turns out, everyone else saw it coming.They were just too caught up arguing to notice.





	Blue Foxes

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts I had when playing Andromeda. Those old "what-ifs."  
> And let's face it.  
> Evfra's sexy for a grumpy fuck.
> 
> Ryder/Evfra/Andromeda cast and universe belong to Bioware.  
> [Story personally published from April 2017. Posted on site September 2017.]

 

 

 

 

 

Consensus was quickly reached among a very select group on Aya about Evfra lately, and it painted a rather odd, yet strangely endearing picture of their stern, focused Resistance leader.  
  
Between communications of Aya's governor, the Moshae, and Jaal on the Tempest, the picture slowly began to come together, weaved from each of their own experiences with their trusted and respected leader since the arrival and alliance with the human Pathfinder.

Jaal well recalled the outright distrust, anger, and skepticism the angara had obviously kept about Ryder from the beginning, relying on Jaal's own words to even allow any action upon her arrival to Aya beyond arrest and detainment. Evfra had not hidden those dark gazes of his at her, nor held back the condescension in his voice each time they spoke, only very subtly once admitting typical angara empathy for her people's plight between his gruff refusal to consider her actions sincere. Yet, Jaal had also witnessed Evfra's holo-self in the Tempest's vid-call room speak with Ryder after their successful aiding of Havarl—nearly to the point of entirely setting the planet on a reviving path: The normally narrowed angaran eyes had widened at her admission of SAM and explanation of the AI's help with the Remnant vaults. Jaal had heard Evfra very, very quickly, compliment the human on that honesty, and switch back into agreeing to allow her cooperation on Voeld for retrieval of the Moshae for the obvious sense her admission had presented as a tool.

After that vid call, Jaal had even acknowledged with Ryder that they were progressing in earning the stubborn Resistance leader's trust, a feat that had the human Pathfinder oddly smiling a little to herself, as if privately amusing in some regard. Jaal simply supposed she was merely excited to have caught Evfra off-guard and succeeded in winning over his logical side past his suspicious one for once. But later, much later on Voeld as they'd prepared to disembark to rescue the Moshae, Ryder had let slip a thought she clearly hadn't considered Jaal might hear.

“Even if we get her, it's not good enough. No matter the aid given, the blood spilled for them, it won't be enough for him. And the fucking thing is that he's right—he could trust _us_ , but the whole Outlaw/Exile situation before we even _got_ here, Cora? I can try to track and deal with them, but it's fucking unfair to hold us to a standard in comparison to them...when the Roekaar do the same shit. And that's gotta piss him off,” Ryder had said quietly, cracked her neck around, then pushed forward once the angaran pilot had waved them forward, ready to depart.

At first Jaal had been a little offended. He'd hoped Ryder would realize not all angara would judge her as they would the worst her people could do, but then he really considered what the human had said between the lines to Cora: Ryder clearly knew angara could trust her without such comparison, could see the difference. But not Evfra. He wouldn't _willingly_ try so hard to do so. And it hit him then how important Evfra's own judgment seemed to _Ryder_ over many of the others' she'd encountered in his culture and scattered governing ties.

Having worked with Ryder for the brief time he had, Jaal had caught quickly onto the fact that Ryder cared about her duty and the Nexus and Hyperion's general populace, but _not_ so much what that salarian Tann or human Addison tried to manipulate her in doing. Yet here she was...caring about Evfra's opinion the most without directly stating so. Sure, it made some sense, given how he'd been present for the pair's initial meeting and all, and even Jaal had seen then the desire to prove herself readily in her gaze that had _rarely_ deviated from Evfra's own focused one.

Jaal had quietly messaged Shie. He feared that Ryder had a similar determination to that of Evfra himself and that it might make future diplomacy a slight difficulty without Shie's intervention on the Nexus' behalf with the Resistance leader. Ironically, Shie had replied to his concern with the exact opposite view.

 

\----------------------

 

While Jaal had been traveling with the Pathfinder, taking notes and observing for his people including Evfra himself (with slightly different reports than his ones to Shie), Shie had been stuck on Aya and dealing with one sour angara. Daily correspondence or random quick conversations quickly let Shie onto the fact that something was quite bothering Evfra, and it wasn't the kett like always. Something else, something that was decidedly not a topic he could control or strategize as efficiently about.

The first days after the Pathfinder's accidental discovery of Aya were wrought with constant tension of the populace, the Resistance, and the government all trying to decide together and yet separately how to feel about and proceed in dealings with the Milky Way visitors. Shie, to her own surprise, quickly became a soft advocate for chance. She'd quite frankly been as reserved as Evfra about the human Pathfinder, but Jaal's immediate reports had soothed the deepest concerns beyond what she'd expected: Immediate aid to Havarl as it was closest to Aya, with that aid extending beyond just the group of scientists. While the Resistance tracked the Moshae's location with the kett, Ryder had been clearing Havarl of environmental problems that had become detrimental to the planet and the angara's survival on it. She'd helped individuals and groups, even gotten the Sages themselves to come down and reengage with those not on the tower. Astonishing feats by an alien working in such distrust.

As other reports began to stream in from Havarl scientists and citizens, all claiming alliance with the Pathfinder and gratitude and desire to work with Nexus researchers, Shie began to slowly smile more and more for the first time in years. This, humorously enough, coincided with Evfra beginning to look puzzled more and more. The angara was always stern, firm, and disgruntled, but now he seemed slightly perplexed at times when the Nexus or Pathfinder was brought up. His initial responses had still been along the lines of distrust and phrases of “we'll see” and “actions will speak for themselves.” When Shie coyly pointed out that the actions on Havarl _were_ doing just that, Evfra had huffed, sneered, and walked right out of her office—nothing unusual, really, given arguments they could have between leaderships sometimes, _but_ it was the way he left with his shoulders tight, a frown on his face as he deeply thought, then a jerk of his head as if to clear the idea that had distracted his usual grimace.

Growing absolutely intrigued, Shie began to poke him in little ways.  
  
She would, after a good discussion, randomly add a new piece of intel from Jaal or others, slightly compliment the Pathfinder, and hold her breath as she watched, appearing uninterested in his response. Evfra would, without fail, tense _most_ at the mention of Ryder. In private Shie mulled over the reaction in a sort of gleeful, yet concerned amusement; it was very rare for someone to agitate Evfra so, and at least so far this was not in a negative or dangerous way. Perhaps it was even _good_ for him, bringing him forward past his attitudes that were, in a way, not entirely unlike those of Akksul and the Roekaar they struggled with across planets.

Shie then began to not bring up the Pathfinder at all unless she was asked to or someone else had. Curiously, it went unspoken for nearly a week or two before Evfra, in conversation, huffed out a soft, “I'd rather she prove me wrong than right.”

Naturally Shie had smiled to herself as he left her office, replying, “Why, of course.”

The grumble that had come her way at her polite, removed encouragement had entertained her for two days straight every time she thought of it.

Shie got Jaal's correspondence concerning Ryder's behaviors right after she witnessed Evfra do something very strange. Often images were brought up on large data screens and terminals in the Resistance HQ for better visuals, tracking and the like, but the night they got confirmation that Havarl was in great shape and Ryder was immediately departing to head for the finally prepared navpoint on Voeld to rescue the Moshae, Shie found Evfra standing at his desk with his back to the room, facing the great window there. On the holo-tool above his arm was an image of Ryder speaking with some of the scientists, clearly taken by a sneaky researcher and forwarded to him in both kindness and orders of spying. Shie briefly caught the details of Ryder's face and immediately noted how different it appeared from what she remembered: The human Pathfinder had approached her so neutrally, so politely yet directly in conversation, and it had been obvious that she'd been extremely nervous and understandably so. When Shie had left her with Evfra and Jaal, Ryder had begun to exhibit more determined emotions, more focus and gazes not unlike Evfra's. But there, on that image, was Ryder...smiling. Very openly smiling, shaking hands with an angara female, and looking so genuinely open and happy to have made that connection that even Shie felt the warmth inside of her echo, imagining the Pathfinder's emotions in that moment.

Evfra stared down at it, eyes focused yet distracted, face blank of expression. Shie caught his fingers gently move forward and curiously trace the air above Ryder's face in the image, as if trying to understand something.  
  
It wasn't that Evfra wouldn't understand the human exhibiting different emotions—angara were extremely emotional, and Evfra was among the more rare in that he was usually not showing as many positive ones as he, frankly, didn't experience them enough or care enough to trust the ones he had, to embrace them over his constant anger and fear and worry. Shie had wondered in that brief glimpse she'd been given if Evfra was seeing himself in Ryder then—seeing that devotion to duty, that darkness, yet...the sincerity he kept denying her to have. The sincerity he always had for his own people, shown how it was.

Of course Shie had made a slight noise and pretended not to have noticed him looking, so as soon as he'd turned his head and seen her, his arm immediately flicked the image off, and his custom tired frown reappeared on schedule. His conversation had been slightly more terse and on edge in their banter, and Shie had bet him to be worried that she'd seen that soft moment he'd allowed himself to have.

She said nothing about it, let him have it as the personal secret it was, and left, only to later be called out of bed by him to discuss the AI that the Pathfinder had explained aided her and how it would aid in retaking the Moshae. The entire conversation had played out in brief audio, and Shie had voiced her own concerned yet deep interest in the Pathfinder's abilities and this SAM thing.  
  
Evfra had paused once, then as if it didn't matter in the least, said, “She was honest, so I agreed. Tactical sense, anyway.”

For most the statement would mean nothing, just as he'd intended.

For Shie, it spoke volumes. It said that he was not only beginning to begrudgingly trust Ryder but also that he was starting to genuinely _respect_ the human. He'd respected her opinion, but most of all, he'd appreciated and respected her up front answers to his questions. Her words, and through them her action, of not hiding anything stayed true to her promise of wanting authentic alliance and cooperation.

So, Shie had replied to Jaal with her own observations, not surprised by his claim that Ryder seemed to be heavily concerned about and influenced by Evfra's opinion. Her reply had clearly surprised Jaal, though, which made sense; if she hadn't seen that look upon Evfra's face, hadn't caught the pattern of subtle detail, she, too, wouldn't believe it. But clearly the Pathfinder and the Resistance leader both were entirely wary of one another...and yet, on some level, both also appeared to deeply want the respect of the other in a way they'd never directly say or ask for.

Right after these discussions came the rescue of the Moshae, and not only she but also several angara. Ryder had refused to initially blow up the building until the others were saved as much as possible. Against the Moshae's own wishes, Ryder had insisted and given the Resistance with her the time to carry out the order, killing the kett Cardinal in charge of the place and evacuating the Moshae to her ship. Then, with the Moshae being treated by her non-human other alien doctor, Ryder had gone back with a select group, the same she'd gone with before, and with her SAM's help, overloaded the building and blew it up, taking out any kett that had tried to retake the facility first.

It was so beautifully executed, so lucky and well played, that many of the Resistance and locals to Voeld struggled between openly showing their appreciation with tiny gifts or offers for aid for the Nexus and the like. The Moshae slowly forgave the Pathfinder for the initial disagreement between them, and Jaal reported to Shie and Evfra that they were well on their way and healing just fine, but...that they had terrible news about the kett themselves.

And that truth had rocked Evfra to his core and kept him in deep, isolating silence when he wasn't barking orders or having forced talks with the rest. Shie took careful note of it as she dealt with her own grief and shock in the truth, but Evfra stood firm against all the questioning of the fighters, stating simply that the kett became kett no matter what. Even the human Pathfinder's alien doctor had studied a kett corpse in detail to confirm. Clearly the kett that had been their people didn't recognize them or help or turn against the kett. So what choice did they have but to still keep fighting?

 

\-------------------

 

The return of the Moshae had been a day of relief, release and peace for all angara, but especially for those on Aya who saw her walk into the city, Pathfinder and Jaal at her side, talking quietly and pausing now and then to speak to citizens.

But there had been a moment during the Moshae's reentry across the docking pad that Shie, Jaal, _and_ the Moshae had all caught.

Evfra had looked the Moshae over, clearly relieved and still concerned about her, no doubt, but his gaze eventually passed to Jaal and then almost struggled as it fell upon Ryder with some mixture of acceptance, respect, discomfort and reflection. Ryder had glanced to him in response, and again, all three had quickly caught the split second change of her warmer expression slip into one of defense and preparation. Shie quickly intervened by greeting the Moshae, and things calmed from there.

Jaal wasn't surprised at Evfra's immediate order to report to the HQ with information and prepare for reassignment. He wasn't surprised at all that Evfra would have that conversation right there, next to the dock, as if to imply to Ryder, “Thanks, but you can go now.” And Jaal, after weeks of being by Ryder's side and working with her crew, was _not_ okay with that possible impression upon her.

He quickly expressed that he was doing better work on the Tempest, and that it would be easier to have him there with mutual coordination. He could be spared, of course, for such duty. Evfra had quickly looked him over, visibly agreeing with his words, but Ryder had also spoken then, standing up for Jaal.

“Jaal's become a valued member of my team. I'd like to keep him aboard if he wants.”

Jaal watched Evfra's stance shift, his emotions moving rapidly across his eyes until they settled on quick acceptance. The other angara nodded. “I see no problem.”

Ryder exhaled quietly as Evfra spun and left after Shie and the Moshae, and Jaal gave her a friendly pat of encouragement on her shoulder leading her forward while her eyes were squarely on Evfra's back.

 

\------------------------

 

It took the Moshae longer to discuss with the rest what she was seeing.

Her delay initially came in the form of serious anger with Evfra over Terev and her capture, the way Evfra had hidden the information as he tried to track down the angara who'd sold her out, more or less, to the kett. To glean what motivated one of their own to do something like that.

Evfra's own fury made it difficult to speak with him about the topic, and when she'd forced him to bring the Pathfinder in on it, partly because of the openness and truth of the human so far in her aid and partly because she figured Ryder could glean their next moves from Terev if she found him, Evfra had fought her in the conversation, right there in front of Ryder. It was almost as if the failure itself wasn't bad enough, but that he had to admit it to the Pathfinder made it twice as bad. Considering the testing he'd put Ryder through, the Moshae figured it was a lesson of ego the younger leader needed in his stubborn ways.

“Let me find him. I'll deal with the Exiles as best I can. My original ship might not have gotten me here fast enough to stop them leaving and causing all of this, the issues the Nexus had, but I'll be damned if I don't try to bring some of them back to the fold—those who are out there, scared, trapped and regretting or bullied into it in the first place,” Ryder had said, determination tight in her human eyes.

The Moshae had nodded readily, already approving the willingness there. Evfra had glared again, though the Moshae could tell it wasn't just because his attempts at pissing Ryder off by throwing the Exiles and lack of trust again in her face wasn't working as well as it had before: It was that now Ryder might be the one to fix Evfra's mistake or at the least get Terev in a competitive way.

Evfra finally agreed, with a jab or two about her possible success or failure, and even the Moshae was surprised at him _still_ being so aggressive, in a way, after everything Ryder had just done. Yes, the Moshae herself was still reserved about the Nexus group in general, but she was quickly agreeing with Jaal after talking on the Tempest: A great majority of those aliens genuinely were here to resettle, explore, and coexist peacefully, no matter the implosion they'd apparently had, just like the angara themselves with Akksul. And those aliens deserved the same chance the angara did to them.

She waited until Ryder had exited, looking sour, frustrated, yet still determined as she gave her polite farewell to the Moshae, and then she turned, crossed her arms, and stared Evfra down while he didn't blink until the door had firmly shut behind the human.

When his eyes finally slid back toward her, she tilted her face and waited patiently, smiling inwardly as she caught him sigh like a chastised youth in her classes.

“What?” he finally asked with a huff.

“We need to be of similar position on the Pathfinder and the Nexus if we're going to move in any direction,” she began, watching his curled lip carefully. “Thus far I think we have enough cause to trust in Ryder. Jaal has been to the Nexus. He quite approved of what he could discover.”

Evfra shook his head and turned away, scowling. “Until we disagree with them, or they make inconsiderate demands, or they aren't fair...the list goes on. I have other matters to deal with. Real ones for our people.”

“The aliens aren't going back to their galaxy, Evfra. So you'd best seriously consider your position,” the Moshae countered and walked away, leaving him still scowling and hearing him toss a datapad across his desk in anger.

Evfra's voice stopped her just as she got to the empty room's door.

“And if they are helpful and then decide to take from us? To take Aya? Even you must see the want in their eyes, Moshae,” he snarled out. “No matter those meaning good will, the Nexus aliens want a home, and they want Aya.”

Prepared for the argument, she paused briefly to look back at his dark expression. “Evfra, the Pathfinder, Jaal and I already had this talk on her ship. With her diverse alien crew. None of them want to take Aya. Perhaps visit and exchange knowledge or study, but they _want_ a place like Aya for themselves...not to take from us. And they plan on spreading such a message to any desperate enough to forget our sovereignty. Have a little faith in her. I do.”

“You ask a lot,” he sighed with a shake of his head.

“Has she displeased you so? Has the Pathfinder done you personal wrong?”

He laughed emptily. Darkly. “Not yet. But the kett lied to us as well with their words.”

The memories flashed through her of the Cardinal, and the Moshae tightened her gaze upon him, snapping out lowly like a parent, “I was at that facility. You were not. I saw her witness the truth and pain and get Jaal through it as much as she could after. I saw the horror in her eyes as she admitted to fear of her own people possibly being taken in the future. There is no comparison there, none that are worth your merit in speaking, Evfra.”

Evfra said nothing that time, just faced the window in dusk and silence.

 

\-----------------

 

All three realized that Ryder's prioritizing Evfra's choice for Terev had had a severe impact. Not only had she outright surprised the older leader, but she'd also done so—tried to earn his trust yet again, thoroughly this time—at the expense of a possible alliance with one faction of her Exiles on Kadara. A sacrifice made to do the right thing, of course, in turning Terev over for further questioning rather than execution for demanding angara on Kadara, but a sacrifice against the possibility of the Nexus regaining more of the Exiles and their trust, too.

All three wondered if Evfra had realized this.

When Ryder returned to confirm Resistance had taken Terev off of Kadara, Jaal and Shie had watched her square her shoulders on her way to the HQ, as if mentally preparing already for another go-round about how she still wasn't good enough in some shape. It irked both of them to no end, as each had grown their own separate fondness for the Pathfinder.

It was the Moshae who was able to report back that Evfra had indeed realized the depth of the Pathfinder's decision against her own possible side's cause.

She was nearby, slightly hidden by talking with some of the Resistance folk, and watched semi-distractedly from the discussions as the Pathfinder approached Evfra from the side. The leader turned, acknowledged the human with a nod, and stepped closer to the window in an effort to give them a shred of privacy in the busy area.

The Moshae watched then, interested, as Evfra appeared to greet Ryder with few words, simply letting her speak at first. Whatever the Pathfinder asked, Evfra nodded about, and Ryder seemed to calm a little then. Still very tense in appearance, the human's lips had thinned a little as she appeared to bite them, and she nodded back once, then turned to leave with some slight words. The Moshae honestly felt for her then, wondering if the Pathfinder would ever really absolve whatever this was between the two leaders.

Evfra, though, did something mildly surprising. He side stepped in front of Ryder, his back to the rest of the room, and stopped her from leaving. The Moshae couldn't make out what words the angara was speaking, but she could hear his low voice softly catching in the air. Ryder was mostly hidden behind his larger form from view, but after a moment Evfra shifted away again. The Moshae's breath caught for a second; Ryder's cheeks seemed redder than usual in color, and her eyes were both widely open, yet slightly dazed as she walked toward the Moshae's group. Quickly the Moshae glanced back to Evfra and found him looking over his shoulder, albeit briefly, his large, handsome angaran eyes settled on Ryder's back with approval.

Endeared by that sight, the Moshae greeted Ryder not a moment later, but said nothing about what she'd witnessed. It would be more delightful to speculate with Jaal and Shie, she thought.

 

\-------------------

 

Every report he read that mentioned her both set his nerves alive and annoyed him. Every time one of his fighters spoke of her and her people, it set his teeth on edge and made him want to turn away. Every time both Shie and the Moshae looked at him with that knowing expression when they spoke of her, the pit in his gut grew. He constantly alternated between approval and apprehension, as if his heart and emotions fought his war-learned intellect every step he took.

What was that pit? Distrust or self-loathing at failure? Disrespect or fear of rejection? Skepticism or worry about losing more if he, just for a second, stopped the part of himself that had walled up after his family was taken and let it relax into the normal angara state of being?

As far as aliens went, her crew had proved extremely strange and diverse. Only one race and then samples of the others seemed to have an ability like the angara's natural bioelectricity. They all looked remarkably different, all acted to different cultures, and yet even within her own species there were _massive_ separations of opinions and appearances and subcultures that he'd been hearing about. So the pit in his gut wasn't just about trusting one alien, or even that group. It was about trusting all of them. And that was just impossible.

Still, was that it? Or was it something else? Something so basic he wouldn't even consider it?

Her very image had been burned into his eyes.

He knew, because he could readily bring her to life every time he closed them. Could see the familiar emotions like his own there in her face, could see the way she steeled herself to deal with him as he did her. Could...also see that smile in the image sent to him by one of his fighters on Havarl.

It was amazing how that single action entirely changed how she looked.

She'd intrigued him visually from the first moment he'd seen her, and he knew all of his people were having similar curious thoughts as to physiology and biology, but Evfra wondered deep down in a part of his brain hidden from his waking self if other angara were...also _curious_ about her and her straight legs and curvy bits on her chest and round backside and that weird stuff about her head and neck, hair he thought he'd heard it called. He wondered if others wanted to touch it, to know its texture, to see if she was as soft as she looked to the touch.

Deep down Evfra had been concerned for Jaal being on the ship, not just for his life, but...also for that. For that curiosity. Because even Jaal's eyes had roamed once or twice that Evfra had noticed, stirring some strange dark feeling in him that he shook off and didn't think about again until he dreamed.

Evfra dreamed as he often did of death. His family gone, dead in camps, or now exalted in dreams, of his fighters taken or killed in action. He woke to death, he worked in death, and he dreamed in it. But he'd never imagined dreaming about the death of her would rattle him so badly.

When he woke gasping, panicked, as he'd been reaching for her, desperate to grab her before she was yanked away by a kett, Evfra shook a little on the special angaran bed, his body's natural response agitated by the stress. He tried to shift the pulses to calm him down while his large eyes roamed the tiny personal room he occupied alone. Breaths dragged from him. Even then, awake, he could hear her scream his name with an emotion he didn't understand. Pleading, yes but...not just...for anyone's help. She'd wanted his, specifically, and he'd immediately responded, but lost her as he lost them all in dreams.

He had no idea where she was or what she was up to. Jaal's last report had indicated business on Kadara and cleaning up the politics there to make it friendlier, then an attempt at the Archon's ship was next on their list.

The image of her face stayed with him as he got up, way too early, and after a brief cold shower, dressed for work. He entered the HQ, not surprising any who were on shift then with his random appearance, and checked his messages. A note from Jaal about a push on the Archon six hours ago and nothing since.

Evfra tried to fight the sick feeling in his stomach. He had problems to worry about—his own people to worry about. A dream, an alien, and a feeling he didn't understand were taking up valuable space in his mind. Angrily he pushed away from the desk and looked out the window, waiting for his first subordinate to come forward on the shift with updates.

He had plenty to deal with in the next hour, but the back of his mind strayed constantly to wondering when he'd hear from Jaal. Their success in retrieving the artifact for going after Meridian was vital to every effort against the kett, and Evfra knew it. His ground war might have improved things, but it couldn't finish them. They needed something much bigger.

Tired, but working, he tried to stay busy enough to distract himself. It wasn't until another three hours had passed and one of his intelligence officers had come running into the room, stating intel from the Tempest, that he felt rocked again for some reason.

“What is it?” he asked, trying to be patient.

The angara took a breath, lifting his greenish head. “They're en route to Aya. Got what they went for. Had serious trouble. Losses. Jaal said a problem with the Pathfinder, but...wouldn't say what. Sounded damn dangerous.”

Evfra felt his face react before he could hide the motion, and the officer frowned, puzzled, at seeing his chin quiver in anger and fear. Quickly he leashed it, growling out, “I want notified the moment they're in orbit.”

“Yes, Evfra,” the officer nodded. “I will update the Moshae and governor.”

“Go,” he replied, blinked, and stared down at his desk for several quiet minutes.

 

 

\-------------------

 

“I'm fine. Really.”

The look upon the Moshae's face was not convinced. Jaal winced next to her, but Ryder stood firm, shoulders squared. Finally the Moshae sighed. “You took a major risk.”

Ryder shrugged. “If I hadn't, we'd still be there or worse.”

“I know,” the Moshae conceded with a sigh. “Jaal, be sure she gets rested before you depart.”

Jaal gave her a small smile. “I will.”

There was a scuffle of noise outside the door that caught their attention. Ryder immediately frowned, then gasped softly when it opened to reveal a furious Evfra and an apologetic museum worker.

The worker immediately bowed his head toward the Moshae. “He will not wait.”

“It's fine,” the Moshae said with softness, and the worker nodded and walked off, leaving Evfra to enter and shut the door behind him.

Ryder noted, with a twisted sense of angry pleasure, that those judgmental eyes were only on her. Evfra took two steps, got in her face, and lowly said, “Is it common for your leaders to be so entirely reckless?”

“Excuse me?” she asked, surprised at the question. Honestly, Ryder had thought their last conversation after she checked on Terev had gone extremely well. Evfra had even stopped her to thank her sincerely, teasing in his tired way that maybe she wasn't so bad after all. And now...this?

Jaal immediately tried to interfere, but Evfra took another step, almost backing her up. Ryder refused to move and brought them to a stalemate. The Resistance leader sneered. “You nearly got Jaal taken. Killed. I've heard all about it. And I've heard about what your SAM did. You did not say it could do such things!”

Ryder blinked, at least now getting what his issue was. Good old AI. But damn. He seemed over the top mad. The Moshae must have thought so, too, because she gently touched Evfra's arm and softly said, “Evfra, they are here. We have discussed it. Nothing else would have freed them. But they are free now, and they have what they went for.”

“And the Archon got his copy, too, I heard,” Evfra said, eyes tight on Ryder.

Ryder glared back. “Yeah, that dickhead did. He took a sample of my blood, too, against my will. God fucking knows what he'll do with that. But Evfra, my squad survived. Jaal survived. A group of my allies did not. I had to make a horrific choice and am now dealing with those repercussions. So back off. This isn't about the Resistance, not right now.”

“You're right. It's about questioning your type of leadership and the brains of so-called allies when we _do_ have to work together! This is not a good indication!”

“Evfra, not now,” Jaal urged, upset. “We had no choice. It is done.”

Evfra shook his head, clearly unimpressed, and stepped back. “And the AI? Is it under control?”

“I told SAM to do what he did. It was our only chance.”

“You're insane.”

“Enough!” the Moshae said, voice loud. “The two of you _must_ get past whatever it is that's been between you this whole time. Both our peoples need your full attention and cooperation. Jaal, come. Let's make them talk it out.”

“What?” Evfra snapped, turning in shock as the Moshae quickly walked out with Jaal on her heels.

Ryder snorted, slightly amused and annoyed, and walked away to lean against the wall as the door shut. Evfra grumbled under his breath, staring at the door, then slowly looked back to her. Once again Ryder felt a tingle go through her body at it, just like she always had when he did, and her own eyes were focused upon his in part to stop them from wandering over his gorgeous blue angaran face.

“What's your problem?” she asked softly.

He didn't reply. Just glared.

Ryder finally sighed and rolled her eyes, then moved to walk past him. “Fine. I've got more important things to do, for both our peoples.”

A strong hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her instantly. Ryder's heart pounded at the feel of that grip, the control and dominance and also need in it. Slowly she turned to look at him and saw something new in his big angaran eyes.

Confusion. Evfra was confused about something.

Puzzled now herself, Ryder stayed in that half-forward position, waiting. She watched muscles of his face twitch like Jaal's when he got emotional, and then Evfra suddenly closed his eyes, but didn't let go. A deep, tired exhale sounded pulled from him.

“You died,” he said, the words dropping like bombs.

Ryder blinked for a moment. “Yeah. I kinda did. Second time. First one wasn't intentional, and that was right after my dad died.”

His pretty eyes reopened. “Why would you do it? Why would you trust it to bring you back? Why put your belief in that, the fate of the rest?”

“Because one, SAM and I are too...wound together now. I received him in a sort of accident, so the process was abnormal for me. But two...I just do. He's saved us countless times. He cares. He sees and experiences things because of me. And the rest trusted me, and after he brought me back, they trust him more, too. I did what I had to because, as my dad said, when you're backed into a corner, use it.” Ryder shrugged gently. “Honestly, though? I just hoped I was right. I went with my gut. I believed in SAM and my team, but I believed in myself to make the decision and trust myself. SAM has since expressed regret that it had to be done and great gratitude for my trust. He's...kinda like a weird other brother.”

Evfra stared at her.

Her own hazel eyes roamed his face, taking in the details and the sexy scar across his eye and down to his mouth.

Slowly he let go of her arm, and she felt strange, like the touch needed to continue for some reason. Evfra glanced around the room before he sighed. “I dream of people dying.”

“Harsh. But I feel you.”

“It is as it is. But last night I dreamed of your death. You were taken by kett. I did not...save you fast enough.”

Holy crap, she thought, as his words began to unlock a thousand new questions in her head. She'd dreamed of him, too, before, but she dreamed of lots of people. The idea that he'd recently dreamed of her death was both sad and horrific to imagine, and also...perhaps explained a bit more of his fury. Had reports freaked him out? Did he even care enough for them to, or was it about losing her as a head spokesperson between their groups, losing anything she could offer later to the Resistance?

Ryder didn't know what pushed her to do it, but she went up on her toes and hugged him, face pressed to his in her own shock. Evfra stayed very still, hands at his sides, but he didn't push her away. She swallowed tightly, let her fingers squeeze a little around his neck and the large, curved parts of his head, and sighed.

“You're...a real bastard when you're worried,” she managed to tease, her voice cracking a little as she kept her shock at still being allowed to touch him so.

Evfra took a moment to respond, probably still surprised. “I was not worried,” he predictably rumbled against her.

“Whatever you say, Evfra.”

“Hmph,” he grunted, but Ryder's eyes bulged as she felt a large angaran hand rest against her lower back, gently holding her.

Ryder smiled a little and leaned her brow against his high cheek a second longer, enjoying the way he pressed to her there in the quiet room, hand splayed over her back in what could possibly even be called possessive curiosity. Slowly she pulled away, hazel eyes forcing themselves up to look at him blatantly. The smile returned as she felt his hand slide around and down to fall, and she caught it, watching the hesitation in his gaze. The speculation that never left it.

With a quick wink and half-grin, she switched her grip and held his hand tight in a shake, shook it once, and let go. Evfra's head slightly reared back as he lightly frowned, staring at her smile with more thought until Ryder just softly chuckled under her breath, saluted, and revolved for the door. Before it closed behind her, she cast one more backward glance and caught him staring down in some sort of trance at the hand she'd held.

 

\---------------------

 

Something had changed.  
  
The Moshae readily caught it, seeing both a slight energizing and anxiety to Evfra since she'd forced Jaal to let he and the Pathfinder talk. She highly doubted the matter had been entirely resolved, whatever it was, but it had at least found some level of resolution enough to almost decrease Evfra's usual scowl by half. He did seem distracted at times between discussions and work, and that clearly bothered him all the more if his presence in the practice arena was any indication; thus far two of his strongest fighters still on Aya had had to tend to injuries from spars with him, and he'd gone through an entire stack of practice kett shooting targets in an hour when he was supposed to be eating and taking a needed break. Older or not, he was a hell of a fighter still.

It was around this time that she caught onto discussion that had been ongoing between Jaal and Shie. Upon a brief visit with Shie in her office, the Moshae caught the tail end of her audio recording a response to Jaal, saying that Evfra seemed both his usual self and yet disturbed, but in what appeared to be a good way. When Jaal merely replied that Ryder was acting similarly, the Moshae's brain whirled in thought as to why this was being discussed. She waited until Shie concluded the call and gave the younger female a look.

“What?” Shie asked slyly.

“I see I am not the only one who noticed an issue.”

“Not at all. Well, Jaal and I have noticed the pairing of it, but many of ours are just aware Evfra is a bit off.”

The Moshae wasn't having it. “And your theory as to these two experiencing such issues together?”

Shie walked to look out her window, hands behind her back as she often did. “Jaal and I both think there's...ego. Both seem to need to want to apologize in action for previous behaviors and show respect, but neither are quite willing to give first.”

“Both are quite stubborn, just from me knowing them,” the Moshae agreed and slightly smiled. “Once they're past it, our cultures' alliance will strengthen more.”

“Moshae Sjefa?”

“Hm?”

Shie turned a little, large eyes open with uncertainty. “Do you...believe it possible...that....”

“That?”

Shie dropped her shoulders a bit, head tilting in thought. “Jaal thinks the crux of the problem isn't just egos. He thinks...there's...you know. Admiration on both sides.”

“Admiration,” the Moshae repeated coyly, waiting.

“Yes. Evfra would admire her skill and record of successes against kett. She might admire his leadership and similar success.”

The Moshae angled herself near the window, too, to look outside. “Come now, Shie. Speak your thoughts.”

A chuckle. Shie shrugged. “I believe there is more admiration than that. I believe it bothers both of them with their differences. I believe both worry what others would think, if they'd ever even allow themselves to say it.”

“She _would_ make a good match for him,” the Moshae murmured in thought, smiling softly. “I've never seen him this....”

“It's not that he's out of control, but he's...off-balance. In a good way. Right?”

“Yes.”

“But he lost his entire family ten years ago to the kett. He has shoved us all away since, even you, Moshae, despite his love.”

The Moshae nodded sadly. “His heart has been pained so long that he thinks it buried and has purposefully tried to do so with his work.”

Shie agreed softly. “And we do not know about her situation except what Jaal has whispered—her father died here, and her brother is comatose. Her mother died long ago.”

“So alike, then.”

“Indeed, Moshae.”

“Next time she visits, arrange something. Let them discover,” the Moshae suggested, bowed her head in polite exit, and left, just imagining the huge scowl Evfra would have if he'd ever heard them talking.

 

\-------------------------

 

No one considered Ryder might have had plans of her own.  
  
Inspired by meeting Jaal's family and seeing first-hand how tight-knit the angara could be, Ryder really considered Evfra again. He was without family, but surrounded by daily support for duty and work and anything to distract him from it. He refused to give her any really personal information beyond that, and he barely showed he could be anything beyond upset, frustrated, determined or angry.

But she knew damn well how she felt on the Tempest. Both hated when people accidentally referred to her father or Scott and yet needed it. Needed to talk, yet couldn't.

Evfra himself gave her the perfect opportunity.  
  
When she'd messaged the Moshae about her brief return to Aya to check on her new embassy and be sure it was run smoothly in accordance to angara policy and manner, Evfra had messaged back, clearly told about it. He wished to discuss more about the Nexus and Exiles, just to have more information straight from a source he could trust as more of the Resistance tried to recruit near Kadara and struggled.

Ryder paused by the bar, waved at Liam and Drack nearby in the evening drinking and trying the nutrient paste, and ordered two drinks to go. The bartender looked curious, but said nothing and filled her request. Ryder walked past a few angara in the corridors, then a still semi-busy HQ; it wasn't like the Resistance ever _stopped_ working.

They all stared at her funnily, as if trying to figure out what she was up to, but Ryder just gave polite nods and smiles until she got to his office. The door opened, and she saw him behind a terminal, talking heatedly with another officer and pointing at something he could see. Ryder paused, not wanting to interrupt something probably very important about enemy or team movements, but others in the room glanced over, distracted by her presence until Evfra himself looked up.

He looked surprised to see her. Large galaxy-like eyes took her in from head-to-toe, then paused at the drinks she held with curiosity. “Tell them....” Evfra coughed and turned back to the officer. “Tell them to watch six more hours. If there's no movements, the patrol's moved.”

“Yes, Evfra,” the male replied and bowed away, eyeing her openly as he passed her by.

Ryder eyed him back, unashamed, brows up until the angara flushed and looked away. Evfra must have noticed, because a strange glare had settled back into his eyes. He shifted near his desk and tossed his head to get her moving.

When she got close enough, the other small handful of people in the room pretended to not notice. “Hey.”

“What are you doing?” he flat out asked, gruff as always. Assessing.

Figures, she thought. Ryder snickered. “You wanted information. I'm bringing it. But I'm thirsty, and my mother always taught me if I was gonna eat or drink in front of someone to have enough to share. Only polite.”

Evfra snorted with a slight smirk. “Mm. Sit.”

A quick grin crossed her face, and she pulled out a chair, plopping down tiredly and sliding him one of the glasses. Evfra took it, sniffed it, and must have recognized the drink because he tossed it back immediately.

“Listen, the way we got here...I'm not sure how much you've spoken to my asari ambassador, but each of our civilizations, more or less, had an ark. Twenty-thousand on each ark. No ark had weapons. We've never meant to be anything but peaceful. Anyway, coming ahead of us was the Nexus and its crew, set to wake and finish construction for a center of operations as we Pathfinders, one per heavy race numbers, sought out habitats our species could function with. Of course, there were unexpected obstacles,” Ryder explained, sipping her drink instead of chugging it back. “My ark was the only one that made it to the Nexus as it should have, but we hit the Scourge first. Other arks were immediately attacked by the kett and are still being found and rescued. And while we weren't arriving for an extra fourteen months, people on the Nexus, of all species, got very disgruntled. They were scared they'd all come for nothing, would be trapped and die on that ship without outposts or populations. Food was growing desperate. Tensions were high with construction efforts to fix Scourge injuries to it. And people didn't handle protests well.”

Evfra nodded slowly, sitting down, too. “So there was a split.”

“Yep. That happened as a result of Nexus people trying to contain violent protest by enlisting krogan to take the brunt of it. Since they felt they couldn't control or trust those people anymore who'd been trying to sabotage the Nexus itself, they exiled them, thinking it a death sentence. They didn't know about Kadara then. Or your people. They thought they were alone until we had proof of other intelligent life.”

“And these Exiles took over Kadara.”

“Morons took over Kadara. They had no right to do so. I've now resettled power there to be shared as best I can with an angara at least partly at the top. Your people have calmed down. We might not get as many back on the Nexus as I'd hoped, but we have alliance now. Treaties working out.”

He finished his drink and sat it down, eyeing it tiredly before glancing to her. “So, in a way, not unlike the Roekaar.”

“Yep,” Ryder confirmed. “A split. That's why you can't judge me by them. Or the entire Nexus by them or a few in the Nexus. _I_ don't judge your entire people based on a few bad apples.”

“Bad what?” he asked, frowning.

She snickered. “A fruit from my home world.”

“Ah.”

Evfra hummed to himself and stretched his legs under the desk. “I suppose between you and your ambassador, there has been good will enough. Reports from my people on the Nexus are favorable.”

Ryder actually sighed in audible relief, catching more eyes than just his. “I'm so glad. I mean, I hoped that. I know my people, of all species, have been so nervous trying to respect your boundaries but also...extend hands. We're so used to being together, you know? At first we had all planned to settle independently, and still may with an outpost or two, but really, we blend together so damn well. Citadel politics back in the Milky Way made it proportionally unfair for some species to be seen to over others. Here it's...not really like that. We only have each other. Like a big family. And now we have the angara, if they care to blend at all somewhat.”

“I am relieved to hear such respect is desired,” he finally murmured back, eyes darting around the room.

“It's why I've worked with my ambassador so much to fix anything here. Why I got angara who didn't get to come to Aya room on the Nexus if they wanted to trade. It is not fair to insert ourselves without permission, understanding, and reciprocation.”

Evfra stared her down for a heartbeat or two, revealing nothing.

Ryder sighed, figured her time was up, and pushed to stand up. “Well, I'll get out of your way. Business never stops.”

“Pathfinder,” he grunted, mimicking her stance.

“Hm?”

“Jaal has spoken greatly about your ship. You've seen many of mine.”

The smile slowly spread over her lips in a way more sultry fashion than she'd intended, and her stomach fluttered as Evfra's eyes swung right to it. “Want a tour?”

“When possible,” he agreed, seeming ambivalent.

She nodded as she took their empty glasses. “Come by any time. I'm docked for another day.”

“All right.”

Ryder made it to the door, glanced sideways to the previous angaran operator who'd looked at her, and saw his eyes dragging down her body before darting away. She almost said something, something kind to tell him it was okay—she was an alien after all, and there was curiosity on both ends...and at least he hadn't used an actual scanner on her for biology interest like another angara had on Aya. But there was a strange sound from behind her that paused her words. Ryder lightly turned, as did the angara, and both were bug-eyed at the intense, dark look from Evfra focused directly at the other male.

She didn't quite understand the sound, but something about it both invigorated and set her off. Ryder caught the other angaran man look away, ashamed, and noticed Evfra look satisfied right after. And that annoyed the shit out of her.

Ryder swung her foot around, bumped her shoulder to the officer, and muttered, “I'm an alien, I get it, and it's fine. We're all gonna look. Not all of us are going to be xenophobic. Stay strong.”

The angara gaped, eyes blinking rapidly over her face in surprise. “I...um. Thanks...Pathfinder.”

Ryder slid her eyes back as he did and found Evfra fuming. Good. With a smirk, Ryder bowed politely and walked out before the angry leader could whiplash her for her action.

 

\-------------------

 

Word spread fast about that little meeting.  
  
Jaal had been genuinely surprised at Ryder pushing her boundaries so far to make Evfra comfortable for once, but then the gossip about her departure hit his ears, and that definitely changed things. For one, while everyone _did_ eye one another on Aya and the Nexus, Jaal knew Ryder had mistaken the officer's stare against what it had truly been—interest. Sexual interest. Evfra, though, hadn't. He'd apparently reprimanded the officer then and there with a warning grunt most reserved for jealous moments, but coming from Evfra, no one considered that to be the motive; not with his older age, and not with his personality. They all agreed he'd been what Ryder called him indirectly—xenophobic. And while there was a lot of stigma on Aya to not remotely consider any of the new Milky Way aliens in such a sense, Jaal had seen for himself the species beginning to reach out in places like Kadara port, even one of Vetra's people trying to court a female angara. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't find Ryder attractive.

And that was why Jaal didn't entirely believe what the rest did about Evfra's motivation. Not after everything he'd discussed with Shie and the Moshae, and certainly not after seeing that triumphant smile that had come from Ryder as she'd left the Moshae's office a while ago, leaving Evfra dazed behind her in a way he never was.

So if he was right, then Evfra was interested in Ryder beyond professional relations. And if so, that had to scare the crap out of the stern leader...especially as, with her response to that moment, it could be construed that Ryder had discarded any claim that had possibly, intentionally or otherwise, been staked with his reprimand. And if also so, that had to hurt double, given the age difference between Evfra and the other male and Evfra and Ryder, herself.

Cue his next shock when Evfra was suddenly on the ship the next night before departure. Kallo caught him on their team comms that someone had come to speak with Ryder, and Jaal had gone down to the cargo bay, brows up at seeing Evfra there, looking absolutely uncomfortable, yet curious about the ship already.

“Evfra?” he asked, coming closer and catching the other male's attention.

The large blue angaran head swung around, noticed him, and seemed to relax some. “Jaal.”

“What are you visiting for?”

“A tour. I was promised one. Only fair as some of this crew's been in Resistance ships.”

“Sure. I can show you around,” Jaal began, but a voice cut over his words halfway through.

Ryder looked down from the second level above them, eyes slightly tight on Evfra. “I offered. I'll do it. Make sure you're good for take off, Jaal. Grab anything you need now.”

Jaal felt a bit slighted, but quickly debated Ryder's reasons for keeping Evfra's tour more private. He nodded and slid away to go down the ramp into the city, looking back once to see the tension in Evfra had only grown in that new privacy.

Ryder, meanwhile, waved Evfra on behind her, already pointing at the Nomad on its hold. She quickly explained the benefits of the ground vehicle to the angara, noticing his eyes light up as he clearly debated privately if creating such a vehicle for the Resistance might be possible or soon. From there she led him to the lift and up to the drive core, which, thankfully, was short one Gil Brodie for a moment of quiet.

Evfra stared at the core in a bit of slightly open awe.

“I don't know all about the specs, but if you're curious, you can talk to my engineer or my pilot. Both are very knowledgeable.”

“It is interesting,” he admitted, arms slightly crossed, but lowering in tightness.

Ryder smiled to herself and led him out and back down the lift, then forward up the side ramp into the crew quarters. “Medbay through that door, crew bunk to the left. Bathrooms attached there. Kitchen up on the front right.”

“And that door?” Evfra asked, looking at the large one straight ahead.

She shifted her weight and slid her gaze sideways to him. “My quarters.”

Evfra's eyes widened a fraction, and he huffed strangely, as if to show he either didn't care or was unimpressed. And, well. That just made it a challenge, didn't it? Ryder strode forward towards her door, motioning for him to follow. Evfra looked very unnerved by the suggestion, and that made her all the more looking forward to what she wanted to try.

“C'mon in. There's...a...great view,” she said, purposefully vague. Of course, the view in the bridge was even nicer, but he hadn't seen that yet.

Evfra sneered rather blatantly. “That's a new—”

He stopped, silent, as the doors opened and he looked straight across at the large viewing window near her bed. Ryder smiled and quietly entered, hearing him follow as the door automatically shut behind him. She paused near the railing by the window, feeling him step up a moment after.

He just stared out. Fascinated. Worried.

“You were saying?” Ryder drawled, twisting to view him better.

“Hm,” he grunted, eyes still drinking in Aya around the window.

“Know something? The view in space is even better. Some gorgeous clusters out there.”

Evfra sighed to himself, stance softening. “I...haven't...seen it so well. A mistake, probably. Too focused on the kett. Have to be.”

“If you have to travel for the Resistance, then be sure to look out the window once. Or, if you ever want to visit the Nexus at all, I'll take you,” Ryder offered with a tilt of her head, long blonde hair hanging over her shoulder.

Slowly he turned to look at her. There was debate in his eyes, but also...something sad. Like a longing for something that had already passed. Ryder's heart swelled at seeing it, even more so as he muttered, “Would have been interesting.”

“Meaning?”

“I do what I have to for my people. My life doesn't matter beyond that.” Evfra shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable. “I am...too old...to be caring about doubts anymore.”

“Old?” Ryder asked, brows high.

Evfra snorted softly. “You cannot tell angaran ages, clearly.”

“Try me. How old?”

“Doesn't matter.”

“You brought it up. And if you're _that_ old, looking back and wondering isn't uncommon.”

Evfra rolled his eyes to the side, annoyed, and faced her. “I am not _that_ old.”

“So define old.”

“You are but a child in comparison and would do well to remember it.”

It was her turn to snort. “Uh huh. What's my age, Evfra?”

“Hell if I know.”

The admittance said the way it was startled a laugh out of her, and she chuckled rather loudly, hand coming up to her stomach. Evfra's eyes lit up in a way they hadn't around her, and Ryder felt a little hope at seeing it. “Well, I am young, yes, but still quite an adult,” she began. “And you?”

“An...older adult,” he shrugged. “Jaal is more like you, I imagine.”

“Are you like...his parents' age?”

“More likely.”

Ryder smirked. “You know, in my personal culture, silver foxes aren't a bad thing.”

Evfra frowned at her. “What is this silver fox?”

“It's an animal, technically, but the term refers to an older man. Someone who is mature, but desirable for it. Intelligent, handsome, confident, and often dominant or able to get what he wants with words,” Ryder explained, cheeks a little warm as Evfra began to stare at her with a look of suspicion all over again.

“And what makes you think I am anything like this silver fox in your culture?” he finally asked, arms crossing higher on his chest defensively.

Ryder rolled her eyes this time. “It's a _compliment_. Sheesh, I've never met someone who'd refuse that. It means you're smart, you're sexy, and you're experienced, and lots of ladies like those traits over young guys that are hot-headed, arrogant without experience, and obsessed with their youth.”

One of his brows rose a little, and he angled his hip somewhat as he looked from her to the window again in silent thought.

It hit her that maybe...despite her intention, he just wasn't comfortable with the compliment coming from _her_. From an _alien_. And he had every right to feel that way. Embarrassed and awkward, Ryder ran a hand through her hair. “Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Just...wanted you to realize older age doesn't have to be a bad thing, at least not to me. You're only as old as you let yourself feel, in a sense.”

“I understand that,” Evfra replied, a bit stiff, arms still tight across his chest and eyes on the window with concentration.

Ryder sighed then, feeling a bit defeated, and turned away.

“You say you approve of these silver fox males, but you encourage the younger ones.”

Foot in air to take a step, Ryder literally paused. Slowly she sat her leg down and turned back around to stare at his back. “Huh?”

Evfra grumbled under his breath, refusing to move. “One of my officers yesterday. He's older than Jaal, but still considered young. He is not this silver fox.”

“Yeah, what about him?” she asked, not getting it. “Encourage him how? So I told him it was okay to stare. It is, to me. I know I look different, and I know it's polite to try not to stare and wonder about it. Hell, one of your people was trying to run bio scans on me without me knowing it, but SAM caught her, and I let her do it once she explained why. And, well, honestly I like to look at the angara, too. You all have such interesting head shapes and colors. Very intriguing stuff.”

Evfra made an odd sound, and it took Ryder a full half-minute to recognize that it was laughter —low, soft, rumbled laughter. Utterly spellbound by that response, she froze, mouth slightly open as he revolved to look over his shoulder. Big angaran eyes roamed her face, and he snickered. “Yes, Pathfinder. But...are...all your females so...clueless?”

That snapped her out of the freeze. Ryder frowned. “Excuse me?”

He rolled his shoulders and looked back to the window, waiting until she stood next to him once more before he continued, “You're right. Yes, we look as your people have. But that was not my officer's reason, evidenced by his continual behavior and...scent, among other things.”

“What are you trying to—” Ryder gaped halfway through her sentence, realizing exactly what he meant. “Oh.”

“Mm.”

“Oh. I...well, huh.” She couldn't help but grin. The angara were neat to her, and to know a male had checked her out was...kinda cool. No wonder he'd awkwardly thanked her. “Wow.”

“You do not sound upset,” he ventured.

Ryder raised a brow. “You do not sound pleased at that.”

Evfra sneered a little and jerked his head away.

“Look, what I told him still goes. I get that that is all...new territory and not everyone's gonna like if it happens, and that means _everyone—_ your people, any of mine—yeah? But...I don't know. Love's love. That's what I've always believed. Hell, I've seen some of our peoples already...bridging that gap in other places,” Ryder admitted, thinking back to some couples on Kadara with a smile.

This got a very different reaction from Evfra. He spun, lip raised. “What?”

“Not everyone's a xenophobe like you.”

“They are simply more naive. Or forgetting their families, the kett, and the last nearly eighty years.”

Ryder's eyes flamed as his own began to burn with familiarity. “Why is it always one half-step forward, two steps backwards with you? Anyone else sees that half-step as a full leap and doesn't walk backwards.”

Evfra glared at her.

“And you know what else? I think that's your problem. You can't really move forward. You can only stay static between the directions. And, meanwhile, the rest of your people are going in a direction—some forward with mine, others back with the Roekaar. I get this kett war has been a horrific norm, in its way, for you, but Evfra, you know the progress you've made since you gained leadership. You know you step forward with them. So why don't _you_ , huh?” she dared to ask, stepping a little closer and not blinking as she tilted her chin upward.

“You speak judgments of things you cannot comprehend,” he snapped back, lifting his chin in response.

“Then test me. It's all you use me for, anyway. Tests. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were just taking advantage of me, my efforts, the Nexus, and anything tied to us and would drop it all in a second if it only _seemed_ to go negative.”

Evfra loomed over her, and the hair on her arms stood up some, no doubt from the weird combo of fear, odd desire rushing through her, and his own biological electrical changes. “I do what I must for my people. I make decisions that aren't always popular because they save lives or they kill kett. I am keeping us _alive_.”

“And what is worth being alive if you do not _live_ , hm?”

Her question was met with another icy glare. “You couldn't understand. You haven't spent your entire life with the kett as reality.”

Ryder stood up on her toes a little, anger licking at her spine. “No, I haven't. But I can damn well try my best to help you and _listen_ to you. Comfort.”

“I do not want your _comfort_ , Pathfinder,” he snarled, teeth mildly bared.

“Fine!” she snapped, fell back on her heels, and glared back. “If you don't think I don't get your sense of responsibility, of duty, then you've clearly done me a disservice in not realizing all I've had to do for _several species_ as my people—not just the humans, even if I'm their Pathfinder. But fine. Be your isolated, angry, condescending self. It's no wonder why people respect you for your adherence to your job, your coldness for it...but it's a damn shame that no one can even be your friend.”

“You, then, should quite understand that leaders make sacrifices. Mine are friends. Close ones. Without having any, I lose none. My family's loss taught me everything I needed to know!”

“I'm sorry about them, Evfra. I really, really am. But damn, you need _someone._ ”

He leaned over her, voice cracking. “I need _no one_.”

Ryder shook her head. “Fine. Your life, your choices.”

“Exactly. So drop it, Pathfinder.”

“Done.” Ryder slid out from under him, already strangely missing the heat his proximity offered. She stomped over to her door. “Bridge is upstairs with the vidcon and research rooms. Go look all you want. Talk to the pilot. Get off before I leave.”

Evfra blinked once from near the window still, seeming almost as if he didn't understand what she was talking about. Then he snapped together, scowled at her in his typical way, only darker, and strode from her quarters and straight out of the crew deck toward the cargo, not looking back.

 

\----------------------

 

Jaal noted by that evening and for several days after that that Ryder had gotten very subdued. She was quiet during dinner, only half-hearted at poker, and stayed mostly in her quarters, claiming messages had built up. Cora and Vetra immediately voiced concerns in front of Jaal to Lexi, and the asari doctor also felt worried. Jaal sighed, knowing that it had to do something with Evfra. His gut had worried him when he'd left the pair alone, hoping that it would go well. That maybe the tenuous bond there could evolve into something Jaal himself had with Ryder. But apparently not. They were too alike, possibly.

He wasn't sure if he should go to her or not, but he remembered how fast she'd come to him after the kett exaltation facility. How fast she'd been there for him, how deeply. And that made up his mind.

Jaal knocked at her door until she answered. Ryder seemed tired, but perked up a little at seeing his face. “Jaal?” she asked.

“Ryder. May we speak?”

“Sure. Come in.”

He followed her inside and watched her plop down on the nearby couch. Jaal gave her a soft smile and sat down near her, without so much of a fall. “Ryder, are you well?”

“Just stressed. It's fine.”

“Ryder.”

She laughed a little, head back to the couch. “Can't fool you. Too good with emotions.”

“Yes.”

Ryder smiled at him somewhat. “Thanks, Jaal. You're a good friend.”

“I am trying to be,” Jaal said, smiling in return. “Now...tell this friend what is bothering you?”

“Eh. Just...things catching up to me, I guess. It sucks enough that I can't get more of the Exiles to go back to the Nexus, but....”

Jaal leaned forward. “What did he say to upset you?”

“Huh?”

He looked Ryder dead in the eye until she sighed. “Tell me, Ryder.”

She hesitated, hand rubbing her neck, before she adjusted on the couch and looked briefly near her window behind him. “He said nothing that he didn't have right to say.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning my stupid ass tried to be helpful and comforting to someone who clearly isn't okay with such things.”

Ahhh. Jaal tilted his face in sympathy. “Evfra is...distant.”

“Understatement.”

“Hah, well. It was terrible, what happened to his family ten years ago.”

“I can't imagine all of them taken so suddenly like that,” Ryder softly said, looking down with sadness. “He is so burdened.”

“My people have begun to take him and his leadership for granted in ways we do not realize. We...forget Evfra is one of us, since he seems bigger. And he's so set in his ways that none consider what he would be like otherwise.”

“Makes sense.”

Jaal spread his hands open. “You do not have to deal with him so much, Pathfinder. Between myself, Shie and the Moshae, there are plenty of middle channels. You shouldn't let the opinions of an embittered old man be the only ones you seem to listen to about yourself and your progress with my people.”

Ryder's face contorted strangely for a moment, as if she both wanted to smile and shout at him. She settled for a half-frown and rubbed her arm. “I know that. I just...I don't know. I respect him. I hate never knowing if I only have his respect in return just temporarily. Sometimes he's...almost nice to me. Most of the time he's a stubborn, cold ass.”

“He is Evfra,” Jaal agreed with a knowing smile.

She leaned back again and rubbed her eyes with her palms for a long minute. Jaal sat forward, curious, then raised his brows as she said in a chastising tone, “You shouldn't call him old like that.”

“But...he is.”

“So? I don't care if it _is_ some odd way of bestowed affection. It can bother someone to always be reminded of it, and not in an 'I'm old and wise' way.”

Jaal sat straight, surprised. Surely such a trivial thing had never bothered _Evfra_. It had to be her own feelings on the matter. He rested his hands on his knees, staring at her. “I...suppose I will refrain from such words around you.”

“Just saying, Jaal. It doesn't help the isolation he puts on himself. It just reinforces it.”

“Think so?” he asked, genuinely interested.

Ryder nodded, slowly dropping her hands back to her lap to look at him. “And my still stupid ass thought I'd try to comfort him on that, too. He liked the window view, and I told him space looks gorgeous from it, you know? Offered a ride to the Nexus when he seemed to regret not traveling much and...well, living life.”

This rather surprised Jaal. He sat back, thinking on her words, cluing back in when she added some strange comment about the “silver fox thing not helping.” Jaal frowned a little. “What do you mean?”

Ryder flushed and looked away. “Ah. I, uh. You know. I...complimented him. My culture doesn't always put emphasis on the youth—or the male youth. There's a stereotype for older, mature, experienced and intelligent men to be just as or more desirable. I wasn't....wasn't meaning to make him unnerved by that, just...was trying to show him age isn't something he should be so dark about.”

Jaal's eyes rounded as largely as possible. No _wonder_ he'd heard Evfra had practically stormed all the way back to the HQ, where he'd promptly barked orders and stood in utter silence for nearly an hour, glaring at anyone who didn't hand him a silent report to read. “Um.”

“I know, I know, God, it was stupid of me. He already struggles with trust, and then I sorta hit on him. Shit.” Ryder hung her head in her hands in embarrassment, making Jaal smile. “Although...he said something kinda interesting, now that I think about it.”

“What?” Jaal asked, excited.

Ryder blushed as she looked up. “Oh, just...insinuated that he didn't know why I'd go on about liking a silver fox when I encouraged his younger officer yesterday. 'Course I hadn't realized that's what I'd done. Just...look, Jaal, it's normal to be visually curious and stare at one another with us all being so alien until we're used to the visual change, and....”

“Ryder, I heard all about it already,” he said, saving her the embarrassment.

She exhaled, relieved. “Then you understand. But yeah, I just told him that I hadn't meant to exactly encourage that, but that it didn't offend me at all. Pretty cool, honestly.”

Jaal took careful note of that for all kinds of reasons. “And his response?”

“Not pleased. Went on about how his people are naively trusting.” Ryder shrugged in her sweater. “We ended up screaming at each other after that when I called him out for not moving forward in life. Everything I do with him is one half-step forward, two back, and I'm sick of it.”

Oh wow. Jaal blew out a breath. “I see. I understand.”

“He drives me _insane_ , and I don't even know why I _care_ so fucking much! Maybe it's because I get along well in general with people that see I try? Sheesh, he's a nightmare. A stubborn, scarred, handsome nightmare,” Ryder grumbled and crossed her arms, then her ankles. “Ugh, he makes me so mad, Jaal.”

Jaal chuckled, unable to help it. Thankfully she smiled at him. “I think he's just as confused as you are about you instead.”

“Yeah right. He could care _less_ if he ever hears about me again. All I do is take up time and annoy him.”

“Are you so sure?” Jaal prodded. He didn't think so.

Ryder sighed and looked to the floor. “I didn't used to be, but now...I guess so. He once made me think...but...no.”

“Hm?”

“That day he was so pissed about SAM? When we were alone, he admitted that he'd had a dream about me dying. Kett took me, he said, and he made it seem like such dreams about people dying happen a lot for him. I...told him he was quite a jerk when he was worried about someone, and, I....” Ryder flushed and slowly looked up. “I hugged him. Around his head, cheek to cheek. Probably shouldn't have, but after his shock he just told me he of course hadn't been worried. I teased him about that, and he...kinda...hugged back then. Just his hand on my back. But it was enough to make me understand how what SAM had done really must have upset him...for me, right?”

Jaal sat, gaping, unable to even process those words fast enough to respond.

“Jaal?”

“He...that is...new,” Jaal muttered, still in shock, but glad to hear it. “Yes, Ryder, I think he was...genuinely worried for you. Evfra doesn't do...well with such types of worry.”

“Clearly.”

Jaal laughed a little with her, then shrugged. “Give him another chance to show that.”

“Jaal, he made it _pretty clear_ that any feelings like that—friendship, anything comforting—was unwelcome from me. So I'm sorry, but I can't,” she explained sadly.

“Damn his stubbornness. He pushes us all away.”

“I can imagine.”

Jaal stood, apologizing. “I'm sorry on his behalf for upsetting you this long. At least know the rest of us appreciate all you do and care that you tried to reach out to him.”

Ryder stretched out, hand waving. “It's fine. Don't worry. I was just...moping, I guess. That was some pretty heavy rejection for not even being...anything to reject.”

Jaal debated a second, then, at her curious look, exhaled through his nose loudly. “He's probably confused and sore.”

“About?”

“Your rejection.”

“Now you've lost me.”

Jaal snickered. “The...officer. You defended him.”

“Against Evfra's intolerance of aliens, yes.”

Jaal leaned his head back, smirking. Ryder immediately frowned and sat forward at attention. “The warning he gave him...most would believe that was the intent, knowing Evfra. Even I would, had I not heard and seen other things between the two of you all this time. But I believe it was meant as it sounded.”

“Jaal, what are you saying here?” she flat-out asked, hazel human eyes tight.

“I am saying, Ryder, that he was warning an intrusive male away from a female he had some stake in. It was simple jealousy.”

Ryder sat back, unblinking, hand in the air in shock.

“And your defense made sense, of course, but it...also more or less refuted that warning by showing your preference for the _younger_ angara. It is no wonder he would be confused by your endorsement of him as your silver fox stereotype.”

“You're...serious?” she asked, voice soft. Quickly her head shook. “No way, Jaal. None. _Evfra does not like me_.”

“I think he does,” Jaal countered. “As does Shie _and_ the Moshae. We've all noticed the way you both are together. It has been very interesting to watch.”

“Ugh, fuck,” Ryder groaned and covered her face.

“Ryder.”

“You're lying. There's no way. The hug thing was a random moment of vulnerability. That's all. There's no _way_.”

“Ryder, there is. He's _angara_. It is _harder_ for him to hide his feelings, yes, and he's succeeding where most of us can't for years...but that warning was a slip in that control. Same with his...hug. Those are typical angara reactions,” Jaal explained with a little smile.

Ryder looked up at him, still semi-shell shocked. “But. He...we....I mean, we _screamed_ at each other, and he _left_.”

“Not good, no, but Evfra eventually cools off. He's just the worst at admitting his fault and making amends. Calling him on it would happen faster than waiting for him to do it.”

“Nah.” Ryder stood and came closer to his side. “It's...for the best. We're too different to even be friends.”

Jaal laughed. “Ironic. The rest of us think you're too similar.”

Ryder snorted. “Pff.”

“I hope you are better,” Jaal said, taking in her now normal level of emotion.

“I am. Thanks.” Ryder winked and gave him a hug, a fast, but sweet one.

Jaal chuckled as he turned for the door. “Ryder?”

“What?”

“If you really want to throw him off his game, show him interest. Actual interest, but in small, subtle ways that will make him question what he's seeing. Consider it like a hunt. You must lure the creature.”

“Hah. I don't know if I like him that much. Seems like a lot of effort for an old guy, right?”

Jaal raised a brow. “And what would you call everything up til now?”

Ryder snickered. “A lot of effort for an old guy. Fine. I'll...think about it.”

Jaal waved with a laugh. “And that is all I can ask, Pathfinder.”

 

\---------------------------

 

 

He was such a fucking fool.

Evfra fired off the last round he had in the practice arena, nearly throwing his gun after that despite the clean head shot on the target.

He stupidly had allowed...thoughts...and strange emotions to sway him long enough for distraction. He'd vowed not to give any thought to her defense of Anj'ar that day, and he'd equally vowed not to think about his own reasons for reprimanding the younger male. At the time it had simply been a gut reaction. At least none questioned the idea that he'd just been...xenophobic, or whatever she'd called him.

Still, even now as he cleaned up in a private locker room, Evfra thought back to the way she'd teased him about his age, about the silver fox,...about how she thought him to be one—a strong, experienced, desirable male—and some part of him churned both pleasantly and uncomfortably.

He'd never been so curious about anyone before, angara or otherwise, female or male. The Pathfinder was simply fascinating in her determination that rivaled his own. She was strong, so absolutely strong in spirit and will. And he _did_ respect her...and on some levels, he did trust her, too. He trusted her to genuinely care for his people and respect them. He trusted her to bring that back to her people.

Evfra threw himself into more work, going almost forty hours in shifts until the Moshae herself came down in concern, reminding him that he needed to stay strong and clear to do his duty. Grunting an acknowledgment then, Evfra shooed her out of the HQ as nicely as possible, and sighed looking out his window. He'd sleep more if it didn't mean seeing her face again—the anger, the shouts, mixed right in with the smiles, the compliment of him....

She'd really thrown him off with it.

Evfra had upon ascension to his title gotten a few offers here and there to couple, mingle, even marry despite his personality. He was seen as one of the strongest, an essential to survival, and such a thing could pass on strong genes within another family. And, of course, had he done so, he'd have merged into that family, been surrounded again, and not so lost. It had been both a source of genuine interest in him and the urge to take him into the emotional fold.

An annoyance, mostly, for him. He dealt with the constant losses by numbing and very determinedly trying to hide how deeply it wounded him to lose them. Someone had to stay rational above all of the emotions. This was war, on-going war.

Yet, the single compliment from an alien female had had him...feeling strange. Right after she'd explained it, let him understand the multiple meanings of her phrase, his gut had churned, a fire low in his belly as he'd stared out her window. That she might find him so desirable had been...surprisingly good to feel. Well, until he remembered his own officer and her defense of him.

Perhaps she hadn't really intended anything beyond what she'd said. Her continual use of the xenophobe label against him wasn't entirely inaccurate, but...in that situation, it sort of was. Evfra didn't think anyone outside such similar roles could understand Ryder remotely, even across species, the way others didn't understand him to his core. In his way, he was trying to show his respect. But also in his way, his emotions had slipped out, and his jealousy had become evident.

Thankfully his reputation had squashed any rumors of actual truth despite exactly what they'd seen and heard. Ironic, perhaps, as he thought over it again and again.

To be fair, he hadn't liked how he'd left. Ryder had still offered him free-run of the ship, the ability to explore on his own and speak with her crew, something he'd _wanted_ to do still. But in his anger, in his desire to show her opinion didn't hold such sway over him, he'd just left. Now he wondered what she'd taken from the action, what sort of message he'd sent to the alien Pathfinder...and what sort she'd sent him in her own dismissal.

He _hated_ feeling slighted.

Whether it was the Moshae after her return, Jaal in messages trying to reassure his concerns, or now Ryder herself, it irritated the shit out of him to be in the wrong, to not be able to easily _fix_ it or have others forget it happened. Evfra hated living with knowledge that he'd been the stupid one, but he could handle it alone. He _didn't_ like failing in front of others, not when he'd tried so hard for so long with the Resistance.

After a month passed with no direct word aside from random intel reports from Shie, his people, and only once from Jaal as courtesy from their old connection, Evfra realized that maybe he'd made a huge mistake with her. He didn't peg the Pathfinder to hold a big enough grudge to not return and check on her embassy or ambassador or even just to see the Moshae for a moment. Yet here it had been weeks with no word, no indication of return, and no one even mentioning her outside of random Nexus references.

It was bizarre after constant talk of her daily for weeks now.

And even more bizarre was that he didn't like that new sudden void.

He tried bringing it up in his way, toying with the younger museum curator about relying on aliens to bring them relics. “You expect them to care? To go out of their agenda for such things?” he'd asked, scoffing.

In turn she'd smiled, pointed at a very strange helmet behind her, and said, “Yes, I do. And she already has.”

Evfra had grumbled at her smile and promptly left there, too.

Finally, though, another message came from Jaal. Something about Meridian, a city, and a important meeting that needed to happen to rally against the Archon. Evfra had reread the message several times, taking careful note of Jaal's lack of discussion about the Pathfinder that had previously been there in past messages; ramblings, mostly, about the aliens and Ryder. It was oddly timed, if he thought about it, and Evfra's stomach began to twist at the thought. Had Jaal sided with Ryder after the argument, no doubt talking to her afterward? Had he comforted her? Listened kindly? Pressed an advantage?

Evfra sneered at the very thought of the young Ama Darav desiring to obtain Ryder's attention. Jaal was good at his job, and deserved a hell of a lot more credit than he got, but he was decidedly young. Decidedly _not_ a silver fox.

Still the uncertainty ate at him for another week, building until their actual arrival. He was immediately notified of her ship in orbit, and Evfra wondered to himself if it was more disrespectful to avoid her or to seek her out for this meeting. He had no idea what to expect from her now—perhaps the old, previous defensive stances and stalemates. In a way he liked those, and in a way he didn't...not after seeing a smile and hearing a laugh.

What he didn't expect was the influx of people in his way.

Shie's outer office was slightly crowded with angara and the rare Nexus aliens, all of them very nervous. Evfra scowled his way through to the front and into the door, shutting it securely behind him. When he turned he paused, eyes widening.

Ryder was leaned against the window, face in her hands.

Shie had a hand on an edge of her back. The Moshae stood near, hovering in absolute concern. And Jaal was holding Ryder to his chest, face rubbing against her as she cried.

Cried.

Everything in his system went alert with fear at this first instance of seeing tears and true vulnerability in the Pathfinder. Evfra's brain ran back through reports—nothing extremely serious had happened besides a huge fight that he'd been made aware of, and he'd begun digging into details about this proposed city that gave clues to Meridian's actual location.

“You have our support, Ryder. Please know this. You've done for our people for so long now. Let us give back to _you_ ,” Jaal softly spoke in his gentle hold.

Even Shie agreed. “If there's anything I can do, Pathfinder, please say so.”

Ryder choked a little and leaned back in Jaal's hold, hands rubbing her face. “I...I'll deal with it. Thank you.”

Evfra felt fire lance through him as Jaal softly touched her cheek with visible emotion and care, and it spurred him to take another step and announce his presence. “What is going on?”

They all jumped, except the Moshae. She'd had one eye on him since Jaal had spoken, waiting patiently as he had.

His heart clenched as Ryder glanced to him at first, tears still in her eyes, and immediately seemed to wall herself right up. Despite the wetness there, darkness slid over the vulnerability, and she closed him right out, then looked away with a sigh.

“Her twin brother...there was an attack at their ark. He was taken by kett, along with his SAM implant and the ark itself, full of people. The Archon plans to use her brother and SAM's connection to take control of Meridian—and if he does, we're all done for. We're grabbing supplies before we go after him,” Jaal quickly explained as he turned to face Evfra fully. “We need allies in this. It may be our biggest battle against the kett. The Nexus and outposts are volunteering forces. Even the Exiles are. Evfra, this is it. For all of us.”

Evfra kept his jaw from dropping, and his eyes softly moved to where Ryder was looking away at the floor, hand on her arm in discomfort. Stars, he hated this shit. But it was beyond time to prove his trust and respect for the Pathfinder and her allies.

“What do you need?” he asked. Simple, to the point, and unwilling to argue anymore. Jaal was right.

“Able bodies. Willing pilots. Anyone good against Remnant and kett both,” Jaal answered.

Evfra gave him a curt nod, glancing briefly to Shie and the Moshae. “You'll have it. We'll be there.”

Jaal sighed in relief and thanked him, but Evfra wasn't paying attention. The second he'd said the words, Ryder had looked to him in surprise, the wall slightly dropping between them. When she didn't speak, Evfra grunted, feeling the pressure pushing him from the other three angara in the room to say something. He sighed and shifted his weight, head bowing a little. “I feel for your brother and stolen people. We will do what we can to aid you in that, too. Stars know you've saved a lot of our families.”

Her strange human eyes opened more and more, growing a bit wetter again, but with relief.

Evfra tensed, exhaled, and looked down, then back to her eyes. “If you need anything, let me know. I must go make arrangements. Jaal, come. I need nav points, details, and such so I can coordinate with the Nexus.”

“Done, Evfra. SAM coordinated some things before hand, and I will go now with you.” Jaal turned and gazed over Ryder in concern, waiting until she stopped staring at Evfra long enough to notice his patience. “Ryder, I can handle this. Take a moment. You haven't since we left the ark.”

The Pathfinder choked out a dark laugh and shrugged emptily. “I can't afford to, Jaal. That piece of shit is torturing my twin and SAM both. He might try exalting passengers. We don't have SAM. I'm lucky to be alive.”

“I know,” Jaal sighed and touched her shoulder.

Evfra, though, lit up. “What? I understand the Archon has access to your AI via your brother's implant, but...what?”

“He 'took' SAM, in a way. I can't get access to him right now, and it's dangerous. We're...too entwined, like I told you long ago,” Ryder said, dropping her arms. “I miss them both. I'm scared for them both. SAM is no weapon. He's a good person, and his will, just like Scott's, is being raped right now.”

“Evfra, she died in the city when the connection was cut. I was there.”

Evfra swallowed hot fear all over again. He didn't stop his eyes from roaming her with open concern; he ignored the looks from the others and took a step forward. “I understand your need and drive right now. If it helps you more, sit in the meeting.”

“Evfra,” the Moshae began, concerned.

“Moshae, rest is important, but it will not mean a thing if the spirit cannot feel it,” Evfra countered smoothly, then turned to Ryder. “Come.”

“You're sure?” she asked, hesitant.

It bit him a little to hear that, and he knew it was personal then. Evfra grumbled to himself, glanced around in embarrassment, and held out his hand, waiting. Ryder stared at him in shock that mirrored the rest, though hers lacked their adoration and amusement, too. She slowly glanced to Jaal, which irked him, and the younger male smiled and nodded his reassurance.

He supposed he deserved her suspicion after all the skepticism he'd kept so long about her.

The Pathfinder took a few steps toward him, then reached out and took his larger hand as if in a trance. Evfra gripped her fingers with a light squeeze, calling over his shoulder, “Jaal, let's go. Shie, see that nourishment is sent for the Pathfinder. Moshae, speak with their doctor about any medicines that might let her relax slightly.”

“Done,” both females said.

Ryder began to protest a little, but Evfra paused and bent close to her face, noticing how red her cheeks were growing, how soft and open her eyes now were. He softened his own gaze in response. “Nothing to knock you out. Enough to let you function.”

“I...fine. Thank you, everyone,” Ryder said, looking around in gratitude.

They all nodded gently, and Evfra tugged her out of the room, debating quickly if he should keep his grip on her hand that she'd tightened; they were about to see lots of people, after all. Jaal, too, seemed curious as he paused, brow up at Evfra near the doorway. Evfra slid his eyes to the side, saw the emptiness in Ryder, and made his decision.

He stepped out, Jaal on one side of Ryder, he on the other, hands still held between them as both males twisted slightly in an attempt to shelter the Pathfinder from so many eyes. Shie and the Moshae came out the other door and called attention, forcing the rest to move out of their way. Evfra felt Ryder squeeze his fingers a little in gratitude, her tired head lean slightly against his shoulder, and something in him felt more right because of it.

They quickly got to the HQ through some side streets, and both ignored the stunned faces staring at them as they entered the way they had. Evfra walked Ryder right to his chair and sat her in it, bending slightly to look her closely in the face.

“Stay here. Breathe,” he ordered softly, gripped her hand a little, and let go.

Ryder swallowed as she stared up at him, then nodded absently.

Relieved at that, Evfra immediately turned and began to bark orders out to the others to gather specific leaders in person or comms. With Jaal on one side of the desk and Evfra on the other, they created the sense of urgency the rest needed...but also the sense of protection.

For once in many, many years, Evfra felt that he was doing something right—not for his people, not for morality, but...for himself and someone he cared for.

 

\-------------------------

 

Three hours later the game plan felt secure. Ryder had helped in the meeting by involving the ambassador and some of the Nexus heads in vidcon direct calls to the HQ. And it was the most prepared and relieved she felt possible for what they were all about to face.

They'd have to go back to the city, briefly, and then meet the rest at coordinates they'd send after.

Ryder was exhausted. She felt drained, half-dead even, and her head was throbbing nonstop despite medicines Lexi had been pumping into her. She managed to eat a little of the angaran nutrient paste, but nothing else as she stared sometimes at Evfra's desk, blinking out of existence for a moment in thought. Without SAM she felt empty. Without Scott's safety she felt utterly alone.

Evfra spoke near her, dealt with some minor matter on the Resistance's end for their preparations, and his voice caught her attention. Ryder let her eyes drift over him, her brain thinking yet again that there was something special to him despite that gruffness that constantly endeared and pissed her off.

She'd considered what Jaal said a while back, and had planned on trying something next time they docked on Aya, but...the Archon had happened. The city had happened. And it had been pushed way down her priority list understandably. That made it all the more shocking that he'd come to Shie's office, immediately agreed to aid her however possible in a way he _never_ had before, and that he'd...taken her hand...and let her rest against him walking to the headquarters... _that_ had knocked her on her mental ass.

Ryder noticed despite her disconnect that Evfra kept very close to her the entire time. He made others come to him there, made them discuss with her if she seemed to want to speak, and kept a firm eye on everyone. Jaal stayed near, of course, eyeing her with that deep concern he had kept for days now, but even his eyes traveled more than once to Evfra with some small surprise.

Maybe he'd been right after all. It sure seemed like Evfra was _trying_ to care, at least in a supportive way. And later, when she'd been eating, she'd briefly caught Jaal explaining the ark situation in more private detail to the Resistance leader, and Evfra had watched her afterward with even more emotional intensity. Even open worry.

She liked it, despite everything. But she couldn't help but wonder if he just felt bad because of the timing of it all—their fight, the Archon, her surviving family taken like Evfra's own, in a sense. And she supposed that, honestly, even if that was the cause...then fine. His respect was clear now, his trust obvious in her as he let her mediate negotiations on plans between his people and the Nexus leaders over the calls.

Ryder was so exhausted that she hadn't even realized she'd slowly drifted to the point of actual sleep. Her body, in a way, felt like it was half-shutting down, and her head was still throbbing...but her lack of sleep for several days had finally caught up. She passed out, face down on his desk, softly breathing with none aware for a moment or two.

What felt like ages later to her, though, she began to gently tune back into voices, muted and hushed in debate, and though Ryder wanted to open her eyes and tell them she was fine, she couldn't. She was too damn tired to move even that much.

Strong angaran arms moved her sluggish, dead weight body, and Ryder recognized a male angaran chest against her sides as she was lifted and carried gently. Jaal, she thought dazedly, as she imagined him carrying her back to the Tempest and the medbay. She had nearly lost entire consciousness again when she heard the voice above her head speak again, and her heart stammered slightly more awake at the different sound from what she expected.

Ryder slightly managed to blink in her exhaustion, and tried to look upward.

Evfra was looking at someone to her left, his head above hers, his arms around her tightly. Safely. Ryder stared at him through her slit eyes, fascinated at how different he seemed—how soft, gentle, more Jaal-like in emotion.

“She needs peace, not reminder. I have an idea.”

“Very well. I'll tell Lexi,” Jaal replied, then shifted away from her side.

Ryder's eyes drifted again as she felt Evfra move once more, the rhythm of his walk soothing her sore head and body, and when she eventually heard the soft rushing of water, she cracked an eye open and looked out, struggling to wake enough to take in her surroundings.

Evfra was looking down at her, his face very close.

She swallowed at the bare intensity in his eyes. She took in the blues of his face against the red marking and scars, the little signs of age around his mouth and eyes that Jaal didn't yet have. Could feel him breathing against her as he bent with her and sat, keeping her in his lap and in his hold. Ryder blinked a few times, feeling soft mist kiss her skin from the nearby waterfall she could still hear.

“Rest,” he murmured, arms tightening on her.

Ryder smiled, barely awake, and dropped her head tiredly into his chest more. “You...aren't...always a bastard when you're worried.”

“I suppose not,” he replied, a rumble above her head.

“It's...peaceful.”

“That is the idea. Sleep.”

“You didn't have...to....”

“Do you ever stop talking?”

A soft giggle slipped out of her while her fingers clasped over the material around his neck, the scarf-like piece. “Mm. Evfra?”

“What?” he asked, slightly in exasperation.

Ryder snickered, eyes closed. “I...decided...to adapt my phrase. Silver fox is silver because human men get grayer hair with age. So....You're...a...blue fox. 'Cause you're blue. And I like blue foxes better.”

He was silent long enough for her brain to roll backward into the beginning of deep sleep, but his words crossed to her in her dream. “You are utterly strange, Ryder,” he'd whispered. “So help me...I like it.”

 

\---------------------

 

Evfra had sat like that for several hours next to the private area of the waterfall, silent, staring between the sky and nature and Ryder's sleeping head curled under his chin. He felt exhausted emotionally, but he kept remembering the sounds of her cries, the tears in her eyes, and it made him strain even more to wait just a little longer. To let her rest so deeply in the Aya sun and soon, the sunset.

He let his body charge naturally with the sunlight, and when she fidgeted with a soft dreaming whimper, Evfra tried something angara sometimes did with partners or children: The charge lightly filled his body, strumming the pulsing electricity under his skin into a tingle, and he intensified it a little to soothe both himself and Ryder, feeling it transfer through his clothes and hers in its strength.

She calmed shortly after, quieted again, and snuggled tighter to him and the current's feeling. It made him smile somewhat above her, and he wondered for the first time how different it all could have been if the kett had never come. If only her people had arrived. How diplomatic the relationship would have been right away, how trusting everyone might have felt on both sides. Just excitement to learn and understand and respect instead of war and blood and death to prove loyalty.

He wondered what he'd have thought of her then.

Her soft, sleep spoken blue fox comment had made the strange feelings she inspired in him stir all the more, and he decided then that he'd done the right thing before by being so bare, and touching her, and bringing her here privately. Some hidden part of him enjoyed her presence...and her appearance. The way she made him feel.

But it was insane, wasn't it? An alien and one of his kind, let alone their ages and social standings? Impossible. Evfra frowned to himself, almost hating for a moment how normal the expression now seemed to feel upon his face.

Perhaps it wasn't too impossible. Jaal didn't seem to think so, if his jibes earlier had meant anything. Once they'd caught onto her falling asleep in the HQ, Evfra felt a need to shelter her, to make up for his previous attitudes and protect her in the shared feeling of familial loss to the kett. Jaal, of course, had become a dear friend to the human and had immediately moved to carry her back to her ship, that softness often in his voice very present then. Something in Evfra protested it, even in simple kindness. He felt...like it was his duty. His place, somehow. So he'd bumped Jaal out of the way and picked her up, shocked at how light she felt against him until she sagged without consciousness and lost control of her weight. He settled her better against his chest as he reflected on Jaal's smile and questions in the private room after its emptying.

Evfra had known he wanted to bring her here the moment he picked her up. It was peaceful, and without reminder to her of her situation—without reminder to him, either.

Now he smiled a little more to himself, just a hint of one, and bent to rest his cheek to her strange soft hair while she slept on. He hadn't lied earlier to her: She was strange, and he did like it, for whatever crazy reason. And now Evfra had to hope that their planning would be enough, that the Archon would be taken down from his monstrous pedestal, and Ryder's brother would be saved. Even her SAM, to save her. Jaal had quietly explained her illnesses since, her determination in it nonetheless, and Evfra got even more concerned.

While she slept for a little while longer, Evfra debated silently and watched the water ripple. By the end of another hour, he'd made a decision to at least accept the weird feelings she inspired in him. Perhaps a half-step to some, but it felt like a leap for him then, to borrow her phrasing. Of course, she'd been right. So right. And he'd hated that, then, too.

Ryder was utterly confusing, for sure, and perplexed him often. But, he decided as he finally unfolded his legs and began to walk back as the sun started to set, that wasn't so bad after all.

 

\-------------------

 

The next she woke was in her own bed. Ryder would have been convinced that everything had been a dream if she hadn't seen the note left on an open datapad next to her bed. Quickly she rubbed her eyes and pulled it closer, heart tugging as she read it:

_Ryder,_

_I hope you have found some rest. We will, together, take down this monster and bring a future for all to the forefront. We will, together, win. Have faith in me, the way you have faith in the others, and know that I have faith in you._

_Respectfully,_

_Evfra_

With a smile, Ryder held the pad to her chest. At least some bridges had been created, in a more sturdier sense, or so she thought. Humbled by his effort, she blew out a breath, and typed back, “Thank you, for everything. See you on the front lines, blue fox. Stay safe for me.”

And then, a bit refreshed but still in pain, Ryder got out of bed, glanced sadly to SAM's empty terminal, and strode from her quarters, ready as hell to be on target.

 

\--------------------

 

Ryder held onto her brother for several minutes in relief after everything calmed the hell down. Crew rejoiced, nearby allies shouted in relief and victory, and the twins held onto one another, shuddering, just fucking glad to be breathing and so close.

“Scott, I....”

“Shh, Sis. You made it.”

She trembled and held on a little longer, face buried in his warm throat. Finally she felt some peace. Some resolution. Some semblance of home. And when Scott slowly let her go with a ruffle of her hair and a smile, she smiled back, feeling as if a rock had lifted off of her back.

Jaal gave a victory shout and smacked her extended hand, the rest of the crew laughing and calling out things to her as she stepped beyond them and viewed members of their allies who were close enough to the area. The Moshae tipped her head with a smile, Augustus from Prodromos grinned knowingly, and several heads nodded...even Reyes.

Ryder frowned a little, confused, as the crowd behind the Moshae gently parted. Her eyes widened in relief, her heart pounding, as he walked through his people proudly, blue head held high and large eyes narrowed on her like usual.

One brow quirked, she stepped a little closer between the spaces, right in the middle, and waited.

Evfra came close. Large angaran galaxy eyes searched her face, open with emotion, before they closed a second, and he said, with a soft rumble, “We did it. You did it.”

“Yeah. We did.”

“And if more come, we will be ready.”

“You bet.”

“Congratulations, Ryder. You've made your place,” Evfra murmured, and in front of every witness there, extended his arm.

Ryder's smile slowly grew into a huge grin as she realized what he was doing. Gently she moved forward and rested her arm against his, strongly, and kept grinning as he smirked across from her. This...this was what she'd wanted for so long. Respect. Acceptance. All from him.

Evfra bumped her arm with his and dropped it, nodding as the crowd behind him cheered on. The people rushed at her, an influx of excitement, so that she lost sight of him, but still Ryder felt his eyes upon her, always watching and waiting.

 

\------------------------

 

Much later, Ryder spoke in detail with Scott about a great many things in their dad's old rooms on the Hyperion. They wondered what would come from the new permanent home on the Meridian, and if they'd share it with the rest as many were open to doing. Each population needed a center of sorts, for resources and direction reasons, but they'd all become a giant family over the course of their journey to Andromeda and beyond, and they liked the immersion.

She followed Scott out into the hall when he mentioned wanting to eat, and she laughed at his joke about being hungry enough to probably eat as much as a krogan.

Not looking up, she bumped into Scott when he suddenly stopped walking in front of her. Ryder glanced around her brother, brows rising.

There in the empty hall was Jaal. And Evfra.

Jaal grinned and waved, coming closer. Ryder quickly took in Evfra's reserved expression, the nervousness in his lidded, tired eyes. Scott greeted the pair kindly, and she said, “What's up?”

“Thought I'd show Evfra around a bit, then realized you were here,” Jaal explained.

“I'm about to go grab food. Wanna go?” Scott asked, excitedly stepping to Jaal's side.

Ryder snickered at her brother, then glanced back to Evfra. He'd not looked away from her. She smiled a little and angled backward. “You two go ahead. We'll...catch up later.”

Jaal smirked, but tapped her brother's shoulder and led him away, distracting Scott's puzzled frown between she and Evfra. Ryder turned around and reentered the cabin, hearing him step after her. It was very quiet in the room now. Peaceful, yet charged. She took a breath and swallowed a sigh as he came close behind her, one hand hovering over her arm until she backed up into it.

His heavy angaran brow rested to the back of her head as he quietly said, “I...have never been so worried in my life. But you did well.”

“Thanks, Evfra,” she said, spinning around slowly with a smile.

His face was twitching with emotion, eyes not narrowed for once.

Ryder came closer, rose on her toes, and hooked her arms around his neck again, pressing her cheek to his. “I'm glad you were safe, too. I worried.”

“I got your message. I know.”

“I had faith in you, Evfra.”

“Good.” He pulled back to look at her, but didn't break her arms' hold. “This isn't over yet. But...we've made a dent in what's here. If they send more....”

“Then we'll take them out. All of us.”

“Yes.”

Ryder smirked. “Can you celebrate for five minutes without working?”

Evfra chuckled low, like he had the one time on the Tempest. “It is against my nature.”

“A lot of you is against typical angaran nature.” Ryder hummed. “I wonder what you'd be like if you were relaxed for once.”

“The same.”

“Oh pff.”

Evfra sighed and touched her shoulder, then dropped his hand to her back and pulled her closer, getting a small squeak of surprise that made him smirk. “There is only one thing I need to know.”

“What's that?”

He swallowed. “How long might a blue fox interest you?”

Ryder grinned, her eyes lighting up close to his as she drew even closer. “Depends. How long might I interest a blue fox?”

“Could be for now. Could be for a long time,” he shrugged, amicable.

“Guess I can take those chances,” Ryder teased, fingers sliding to cup his cheek with the scars. She traced them lightly, watched his eyes close for a moment at the touch. “But, I'll be honest. I think I feel more for you than you do for me.”

Evfra blinked slowly. “Oh?”

“It's fine. I could understand why after everything.”

“And what do you think I feel, Ryder?”

She quirked her lips to the side. “Agitated sexual interest that boggles your mind and frustrates you to no end coinciding with enjoying my personality.”

“On point,” he admitted with a laugh. He bent his brow and touched hers with it, eyes so close. “Your...scare...after the city made me think about it.”

“And?”

“And all I know...is that...you make me feel things I have buried for years. I almost feel angara again.”

Ryder bit her lip and rubbed their brows together, fingers stroking down his face to his chin. “Evfra....”

“Mm?”

She blew out a tiny breath, closed her eyes, and kissed him.

Evfra rumbled against her, hand tightening at her back and his other one coming across her shoulder. Ryder moaned a little into the pressured kiss, feeling him quickly take charge of it, and slid her arms back around his neck to hang on for dear life. Her sound did something to him; quickly he yanked her even tighter against him, mouth slanting to the side, lips crushing desperately as he groaned back.

Ryder let him have control for a few moments until they parted for dragging breaths. Her hands dropped from his face right to his armor, tugging in a way he couldn't misinterpret with those big eyes of his. Evfra was breathing heavily as he debated the insinuation, but a choked sound escaped when she winked and yanked her shirt off to lean back against the bed behind her.

“C'mere, you,” she whispered, arms open, watching his eyes roam her bra and torso.

Evfra shuddered and moved his hands to snaps on the sides that blended into his outfit. Ryder watched, grinning sultrily, until he paused to shrug out of it. He hesitated and looked back to her, so she rose up on her knees on the bed and took hold of the armor. Quietly she pulled pieces off, letting his arms slide out, baring that strange angara chest. Where Jaal had been so pink and purple upon her walk-in on the Tempest, Evfra was blue. Such a pretty blue, with a bit of whitish blue across his bone structure.

He waited, eyes huge, until she licked her lip and said, “You _fox_.”

Ego soothed, he snickered and leaned down over her, kissing and nibbling around her jaw to her lips while his hands slid over her smooth skin, exploring.

 


End file.
